He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
