I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
