I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
