Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
