Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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