cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
