quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
worst night to have a conscience
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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