im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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