You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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