CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize