Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What a fucking waste of an outfit
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
