you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
