remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
