I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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