id be glad to
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
