if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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