and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize