I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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