I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
