Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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