The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
