Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
