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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
