Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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