Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
