i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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