Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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