R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
