I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
