I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
