I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
