I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's shark week go big or go home
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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