Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
