he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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