I hope mine doesn't look like that
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If I die, sorry about rent.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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