i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize