my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
