So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize