Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
