We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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