I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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