can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
