Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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