i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
