As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
