i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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