We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
