I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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