i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
