I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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