I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
