It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
