dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize