THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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