im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
