Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
