OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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